Today I listened to a mini-sermon Mom linked to me, and I found it really interesting. Through it, I found a way to explain/describe my life. I feel like though I explain and describe my life to people, it never comes across correctly. This little mini-sermon on Ruth chapter 1 gave me a freedom to express exactly what I see and feel in my life right now.
"...the Lord's hand has gone out against me." (Ruth 1:13b) "I went away full, but the Lord has brought me back empty...The Lord has afflicted me; the Almighty has brought misfortune upon me."(Ruth 1:20b-21)
I am Naomi.
I cannot express the freedom I feel to be able to say this. For always it has been said, "God brings good things into your life and opportunities. If you don't have good things happening in your life, it is your own fault. You are missing out on His opportunities." But what if every opportunity that is presented to you, you take, and it is all for naught? It crumbles in your hands! What if there is very little good in your life? Does that mean God has forsaken you? But God forsakes no one!
It is SUCH FREEDOM to say "The Lord's hand has gone out against me." Because then that means He is paying attention to me. He isn't just letting me struggle and stumble my way around life desperately fighting FOR a life, for direction, for happiness. But He actually has a hand in it - even if it is to deny me at every turn and set His hand against me.
Of course, my situation isn't has dire as Naomi's where her husband and sons have all died, leaving her destitute, but I can honestly say that I have seen the Lord's hand against me - holding me still, keeping me from moving forward, keeping me from any direction, from blessing.
I am also like Naomi in that she calls God "Shaddai" which is the name of God that describes him as a provider and, as the mini-sermon said, "the God who is at his best when people are at their worst." I have hope, and faith, that God will eventually "redeem" me like He did Naomi. That hope and faith has never wavered. I know things will get better, my struggle is that for right NOW, every hope is dashed and every struggle lost, day after day.
So, like Naomi, I will continue to do the best I can. Breathe everyday, because time always goes by and one day, I will be "redeemed" like she was. Until then hope is my ally and my curse. It is what keeps me going, and it is what allows disappointment.
"...the Lord's hand has gone out against me." (Ruth 1:13b) "I went away full, but the Lord has brought me back empty...The Lord has afflicted me; the Almighty has brought misfortune upon me."(Ruth 1:20b-21)
I am Naomi.
I cannot express the freedom I feel to be able to say this. For always it has been said, "God brings good things into your life and opportunities. If you don't have good things happening in your life, it is your own fault. You are missing out on His opportunities." But what if every opportunity that is presented to you, you take, and it is all for naught? It crumbles in your hands! What if there is very little good in your life? Does that mean God has forsaken you? But God forsakes no one!
It is SUCH FREEDOM to say "The Lord's hand has gone out against me." Because then that means He is paying attention to me. He isn't just letting me struggle and stumble my way around life desperately fighting FOR a life, for direction, for happiness. But He actually has a hand in it - even if it is to deny me at every turn and set His hand against me.
Of course, my situation isn't has dire as Naomi's where her husband and sons have all died, leaving her destitute, but I can honestly say that I have seen the Lord's hand against me - holding me still, keeping me from moving forward, keeping me from any direction, from blessing.
I am also like Naomi in that she calls God "Shaddai" which is the name of God that describes him as a provider and, as the mini-sermon said, "the God who is at his best when people are at their worst." I have hope, and faith, that God will eventually "redeem" me like He did Naomi. That hope and faith has never wavered. I know things will get better, my struggle is that for right NOW, every hope is dashed and every struggle lost, day after day.
So, like Naomi, I will continue to do the best I can. Breathe everyday, because time always goes by and one day, I will be "redeemed" like she was. Until then hope is my ally and my curse. It is what keeps me going, and it is what allows disappointment.
August 17, 2007 at 6:15 PM
Wow, Holly, that is very good. Kudos to all that you said. God is holy.
August 18, 2007 at 1:01 AM
What a wonerful way of looking at things. I am so glad you found hope again. Love you Holly!!