Ugh

It has been a rough couple weeks. I have been running on limited sleep since Cian has been fighting off a cold, however, the past three nights have been ridiculous. I am not allowed to sleep for longer then 1 1/2 at a time, I cannot go to sleep before 10pm and cannot sleep in past 7am to make up for it.

Ugh.

My cold is hanging on and on and on without any sign of going away due to this severe lack of sleep.

Now Cian is catching another cold as his cough is coming back and he is starting to sound stuffy again.

How are you supposed to have a social life and sleep? I can be a hermit with Cian and never be around anyone who is sick (which is everyone right now) and get decent sleep, or I can see my friends and family but then pay for it for weeks.

Ugh.

I spent an hour and a half holding a fussy Cian as he fought sleep this morning before I decided to put him in his bed and let him put himself to sleep. I then spent almost 30 minutes listening to him scream. To retain my sanity I called Mom for moral support, then gave him some Tylenol just in case he had a headache or something, sat down and cried for another 10-15 minutes before he finally fell asleep.

He slept for almost 20 minutes.

I am so tired and so frustrated. I have so much I want to do and zero energy with which to do it.

All he wants to do is be held, but then when I hold him, all he wants to do is wriggle and squirm and jump and twist and pull hair and reach for things he isn't supposed to have...

Ugh.

Like I said, a very rough couple of weeks.

On the upside, Cian is still right on the verge of crawling, is beginning to pull himself up on things and can stand on his own if he has a good grip on something, likes sweet potatoes if given to him in one of those chew bag things, and is teething again. We also think he has said his first word. Over the past week or so he has been narrowing down his sounds to certain situations - such as "Dada" for when he is happy, "Baba" when he is excited, and "Mama" when he wants something. Over the last couple days, he has narrowed it down even more so that starting the day before yesterday, he will look at me and say "Mama", and not just when he wants something. We're not 100% sure (when DO you know for sure?) that it is his first word, but it sure seems like it and fits the criteria everyone puts forth as a tester...so anyway, that's pretty cool.

This is a complainy blog and I gotta go. I hope everyone is having a better day then we are! :P

3 Response to "Ugh"

  1. Lindy Says:

    Oh, Holly. I am sorry. Not much I can say that helps, I know. But keep reminding yourself that the lack of sleep WILL end. Take one hour at a time.

    That's cool about Cian "talking"! Just yesterday afternoon Cienna starting saying "da da da da". It's cool when Cian and Cienna start doing certain things at the same age! (Cienna a couple weeks later.)

  2. Deanne Says:

    Oh Holly,

    I can close my eyes and remember those times...just as you described it! It can be so frustrating that you can sometimes not even know how you can see it through...but you will. I can not tell you how many times I sat on my front step, in tears, because I just had to get get away and that was about as far away as I could safely manage, but I needed some space to regain my sanity and calm down. It is important to "give" yourself some space once in a while and regain your perspective. That sweet little boy might need to cry it out, but a quick, hot shower, 5 minutes on the front step, or what ever you can manage can be the bridge to see you through. It's the toughest, most rewarding job you will ever do...but sometimes it takes everything you have to give and then some. But then you look into that little, sweet face and are so glad that you didn't give up or give in. I would go to a health food store and see what they have to treat baby's cold symptoms (no, it won't cure them, but it might allow them more comfort at night, so they might sleep better (hence you might sleep better). Or even look at some herbal calmatives. No one likes to give a child unnecessary medicine, but I think that sometimes the help outways any other concern. And sometimes, a little help is worth it's weight in gold. Hang in there Honey, before long this hard time will be a fond memory...

  3. Amber Says:

    I am so sorry. I know its hard to ask for help but please ask. I would love to take Cian for you enev if its an hour or a few hours. I hope you start feeling better soon. Love you!