Life Day by Day

Well, it is another sunshiny day here in middle Georgia. It's only 58F so far though, so there is a slight chill in the air. Makes it nice weather for sweaters, but no coat. That is definitely one thing I'm going to miss when we get back to Washington - I'm going to miss being able to walk out the door, year round, without spending several minutes bundling myself up and then having to deal with the claustrophobia of so many layers restricting movement. Ah well, I gotta take the bad with the good. :)

I'm just waiting now for Tim to come home for lunch to find out if he is going to officially re-enlist today. If he is, I'm going to go back with him after lunch so I can watch him take his oath. Maybe even snap a few pics of it.

We've been roughly planning our trip home in February, and -depending on more information given to us by the AF - we're hoping to leave here on February 22 and get home by the 26th. So far we've only explored the straight route home and if we do take that way it, we would make our stops in St. Louis, IL, Sioux Falls, SD, and Billings, MT before making it to Spokane. Luckily, I have been able to find hotels in each of those cities that accept pets. lol. We may end up taking longer, and having to go down around south to stay out of the snow, but we'll see. We don't really have enough information available to us yet, from the AF, to make any real decisions.

Well, I'm going to go do some more research and planning. Love you all. :)

I just got out of a nice long, hot bubble bath, have a cup of cocoa in front of me and Tim is watching Elf on the tv. It's a good evening.

Today we've been recuperating from the big shindig yesterday. I'm planning on writing an email about it, so I'm not going to go into detail here, but it was a lot of fun. We had 9 people total, and as Nubia said, I think it was one of the best Thanksgivings put on by twenty-somethings ever. Everyone made something and we had a potluck. Nothing broke and nothing burned so it was great. :)

Not much happened today. We took Rain on a walk and then went to PetSmart to get her a choke chain as opposed to the pinch collar which she has somewhat out-trained. Everyone loved her, like usual. I swear it's like going to the store with a celebrity. Everyone whispers, points, comes up to pet her, and ask us questions. It's kinda' fun, but a little irritating when we're trying to shop. :P

When we were leaving PetSmart there were three teenage guys riding their bikes in the parking lot. One of them did a bunny hop then swerved right in front of us - completely perpendicular to us and then stopped...in the middle of the road. Luckily we were going slow because we suspected he was being something of an idiot and might cut in front of us so we stopped in plenty of time. I called out the window that they might want to ride somewhere else...it IS a parking lot with cars driving around after all. The punk who was riding the bike tried to get all blustery and show off his skill at handling his mistakes by saying something along the lines of, "Yo, watch where you're going dude...&*#@, @#%*" as he meandered around slowly on his bike, obviously hoping to regain some dignity in front of his buddies. So I simply re-instated that he should watch where he was going and move out of the road.

Seriously, that is what I said, just like that.

So what did he do? Only what any well educated young man would do...he called over his shoulder as he was riding his bike away "Just shut up you stupid bitch!"...I just smiled disbelievingly and shook my head as I briefly contemplated if I should get out of the car and slap him or not...or demand his home phone number and then call his mom.

It was a new experience for me though...I believe that is the first time, EVER, I have been called a bitch.

Gotta love the level of respect, education, and morals people instill into their children now-a-days, especially - and call me a racist if you want but I'm just pointing out an honest observation - in minorities.

Needless to say, Tim was about ready to get out of the car and make something of it, but didn't because they were obviously teenagers and I pointed out to him that the guy was just acting out of discomfort and embarrassment and was trying to regain face in front of his friends. Tim did make had a good point though, as we were talking about the incident on the way home; if an adult said something like that, there would be consequences...but if a teenager says it, you can't do anything. Something to think about and make plans for in future situations.

Well, anyway, I'm bored of writing. Ttyl. <3

Well, it's after all my shows and I'm sitting here waiting for Tim to finish a raid and an X-File episode to buffer, so I'm bored. I probably write too many of these things, but ah well. Like I said, I'm bored. :)

I made home-made mac and cheese for dinner, and it was so good. I think I finally found the recipe Mom used to make, and it tasted like home. :) I had Tim in charge of grating the cheese so, of course, he made extra which made the mac and cheese very cheesy. It was good. I swear that guy is obsessed with cheese. :P

We brought Rain to the baseball field today to run off some of her jitters, and Tim began getting her accustomed to skateboarding with him. We figure, once she's used to it and with the right equipment, it will be a good way to wear her out. After all, American Bulldogs are known for pulling extreme weight. Maybe someday I can even get a sled or wagon rigged up and she can help me pull stuff. Lol, that would be fun. I guess pulling carts was one of their jobs as farm/work dogs...maybe I will revive it.

My shows were pretty good. It was one of the best Bones episodes I've seen in awhile, House was okay, but he is irritating and I don't like his new team - I'm holding out hope, but I'm not happy about it. Law and Order: SVU was also just okay. Next week looks like an interesting one, but I don't like how they make some episodes all about Fin and whatever that other guy's name is. Face it, I watch SVU because of Olivia. I just want to see her in the show, and I want to see her without being all stone-faced like they've tried to make her this season. I don't watch the other Law and Order shows because, truth be told, I'm not all that interested in police procedural, I like shows with relationships, and they have taken almost every singe relationship out of SVU. Now it's just sex crimes and that's kinda' icky. I want my bantering squad room/car rides back! Ah well. :P

Well, X-Files is buffered and Tim's raid is on the final boss for tonight so off I go. Good night all.

Well, we have finally caught up on our sleep from the Weekend to Remember seminar in Chattanooga this weekend. It was a really, really good weekend. Hard, emotionally draining, but so good. I feel like Tim and I are back into our proper roles, perspectives and we have a plan. It is so nice.

Yesterday we went shopping for all the stuff we'll need for Thanksgiving this year. We got the turkey, stuffing, and gravy, and everyone else will be bringing the rest! That is a nice break too, especially since there will be 9 of us getting together. :)

Oh, and just a side note, never buy the Glade candles - the have no scent compared to the Mainstays candles at Walmart. We had a couple Mainstays candles and I loved how they made the whole house smell nice, and since it was almost burnt through, I bought a Glade candle...well, I can't even tell when it's burning because it has no smell. :( Just an FYI for anyone.

We have officially moved Rain out of our bedroom. We had her kennel in our room and she slept there every night, but we moved it out into the living room and now she sleeps out there. It is kinda' sad how "motherly" I feel about it. I feel just terrible sticking her out away from us. Ah well though, it's nice to have our bedroom just for us, and it will be nice to have her kennel so accessible when company etc. come over.

Aunt Debbie and Lindy has taken me up on my fitness challenge and we'll be starting after Thanksgiving. What the plan is, is to set each of ourselves personal goals - something challenging, but something that can be achieved within 2-3 months. Then, we will race each other to see who reaches our goal first. My goal is to lose about 6 pounds, and be able to do 50 push-ups (at least 25 on my toes), 50 sit-ups, 50 squats/lunges (25 each 'cause they're boring), without stopping to rest during the reps. This will be on top of the weekly water/exercise that I am doing with the "Biggest Losers", so I'll make sure I'm still getting a healthy about of fluids and cardio. I'm excited to get going because I'll be proud of myself when I reach that goal.

Well, that is all I can think of today. Holly out.

Today is a pretty day...it's about 60F, sunny, and very windy. It rained last night for a bit, so everything smells a bit more fresh.

Tim is at work, this is his last day before we take leave on Friday to go up to the "Weekend to Remember" thing in Chattanooga, TM. It sounds like it will be a good thing. Rain will be staying at the dog boarding place, and I'm sure she'll love being around new people for the weekend.

Thanksgiving has grown a bit. It looks like we'll have around 9 people total, and we're going to do a potluck style dinner, with Tim and I providing the turkey. I am really looking forward to it. We'll probably spend the first hour or so cooking - I'll be helping to instruct since several of the guys don't know how to cook :) - then we'll eat, and play games. It should be fun.

We're still working on planning the trip home. Lots of variables, lots of options, lots of work/thought.

I've been in an artistic mood lately...wrote a poem, drew a picture, and am planning another. They're kind of random...just thoughts put down on paper in one form or another. My poem is a little melodramatic. Reading it makes me feel like such a drama queen, but when I wrote it, I was just putting down what I was feeling. I don't know if I'll share it because it is so dramatic. My drawing I might scan and put on myspace in my drawing folder. Not sure yet though.

Well, it is almost 1pm on Thursday, so it's time for me to log onto ventrilo and talk to Lindy, Amber, and Mom if she can get hers to work.

Oh, and it's 82F out right now. I miss a real fall. :(

Yes, I'm whiny today.

Ack.

I just got off the phone with Tim who went and talked with TMO (I don't know what that stands for, but they're the people in charge of military moves etc.), and they said that they don't ship cars. This means we'll either have to drive it up there ourselves - roughly 3500 miles in the dead of winter, or we have to pay out of pocket to have it shipped. Also, Tim has a limit on how many miles a day he can travel...I think it's 350 or so miles per day. This means we would have to take 10 or so days to drive unless we can somehow work around his travel limit (oh, and they pay per-diem so the fast we travel, the less reimbursment we get). We would have to do this with a hyper dog and a cat. The lady he talked to also said something about they won't pay for us to drive home unless we haul a certain amount of our own belongings...along with our car, pets and us. So we'd have to rent a u-haul, tow our car, have a cat, a dog, and some of our stuff travel 10 or so days across 3500 miles in the dead of winter hoping to find hotels that will accept pets.

All of this because the military doesn't ship cars along with all your other belongings during a move. Brilliant. Go go military logic!

Now I have to figure all of this out and make it work somehow, in a way that won't completely make this move miserable.

K, rant over.

Well, it is 11:25am here and I'm just waiting for Tim to get home for lunch. It's a quiet day...I'm not a big fan of Wednesdays. They are always boring. :)

It is about 70F outside right now with only a bit of a breeze. I liked it better when it was cold and blustery because then it ALMOST felt like fall. The thing that helps is we seem to be in a patch of trees that actually change color and lose some of their leaves so it is nice to look out the kitchen window at a bright yellow tree and have leave blowing around, piling up in our yard.

I was looking the other day through videos on youtube after I posted mine there, and came across a bunch of anti-American, conspiracy theory videos. It's kind of scary to see how many there are, and how many people comment on them. Being who I am, I couldn't keep my fingers silent and posted a couple comments which led to a debate I am now in. lol. What strikes me as odd is how quickly these conspiracy theorists dismiss anyone who disagrees with them by calling you an "indoctrinated, right-wing ignorant". I think it's their version of "Just because"...okay that need explanation. In my logic class we spoke of logical debates and arguments and the professor pointed out that you know you won the argument/debate if your opponent says "just because" or something along those lines. These conspiracy theorists I have been debating with have little or no evidence or facts to support their beliefs - just opinions by other well known conspiracy theorists. They also seem to throw something at you like it is proof of what they are saying, when in actuality it is a quote taken out of context etc. So if you can get someone to attempt to dismiss everything you say by calling you an indoctrinated, right-wing ignorant to shut you up then you have a "just because" in my opinion. :)

Well, Tim is home so off I get.

And here is a picture of our halloween pumpkins...I know, I'm horribly late. This first one is mine.

Then Tim's...

This is our front door all ready for Trick or Treaters. We had a sterio playing some creepy sounds and halloween songs. It was fun - we went through 3 bags of candy, and STILL had to turn people away. :)

Ah, Friday. Tim's last day of work before a 3 day weekend. It is handy, really, that he gets holidays off now. :)

Today it's warmed up a bit, though it hasn't gotten below 60F, I believe, during the day, it's been below freezing the past couple of nights. Today it's supposed to get into the low 70s which is pleasant...though I must admit I wish it would just stay cold. It makes it feel so much more like the fall/holiday season.

I got my hair cut a couple days ago. It's pretty short - it hangs to about my jaw line. At first I didn't like it much because my hair freaked out because it hasn't been short since I was 8, so it hung really weird, but now that it's calming down a bit I like it more. It's nice not having to deal with long hair. :) A nice break. I definitely don't think I'll keep it short, I like my long hair too much, but I do like to have it for a while. I'll send out some pictures when I get the chance.

Other then that, not much is going on...The base is undergoing exercises so all the people we need to talk to in regards to the move are unavailable. So, we'll have to wait until next week to do anything. I just really want to get this going, and see some progress.

Well, Tim is home for lunch so off I go.

Well, it is about 1:34am and I cannot sleep. I have been having a hard time getting to sleep the past 2-3 weeks and it's rather annoying. I have always been able to order my mind to shut off and go to sleep, but lately I find though I still do so, it starts up a few minutes later and I'm back to being awake. I got tired of just laying in bed for hours so I decided to get up and try to occupy my mind instead of mulling things over and over again.

This has been a rough past week or so...Various irritations caused Tim and I to get into a pretty big argument - and for the first time in the whole span of our relationship we went to sleep still rather peeved with each other. I think this is because I have just had enough of trying to keep things okay all the time and decided that it was his turn to fix his problem. Well... :/

Tim woke up fine and happy the next morning so I decided to let it drop and take Mom's good advice to just put a "pause" on these particular issues and wait until we are in a place that we are getting SOME sort of input. This will be a wonderful thing because, really, we have not had any real input into our relationship since we got married. And it is beginning to show...I think I've taught Tim everything he can learn from me and now he needs to learn on his own - and he can't do that down here with no examples to follow. Heck, I need to learn stuff too, and I'm looking forward to getting some new insights and tools as well. Thank God, thank GOD we are FINALLY getting OUT OF HERE!

Another frustration is that we've decided we won't be able to come home for Christmas...again. This is the 4th Christmas that we will be alone. What with the move coming up, and the exorbitant prices on tickets in December, we just can't make it up there. *Sighs.* It's rather sad because I've noticed over the past couple of holiday seasons that Christmas carols make me choke up now...especially "I'll be home for Christmas" and "Have yourself a merry little Christmas". Yuck.

On the up side, we're going to be having a bunch of our single friends over for Thanksgiving again this year. It should be a lot of fun. I'm getting quite proficient at the whole feast making thing, if I do say so myself, after doing it by alone for 4 years. :)

We found out for sure that we do have to re-enlist for the base of preference rather then just do an extension, so that at least is decided. Tim's commander signed his paperwork so now Tim pretty much just needs to sign the re-enlistment papers and we'll be home in February. His official report date is February 28th, and our date of departure from Warner Robins is set for February 22. There is still a small chance we could be up there earlier then that, but I'm not going to plan on it. One thing I am thrilled about is that since this move is sanctioned by the military, we are going to have movers come and actually pack, box, and load our stuff for us! Yay, I don't have to do it this time! lol. I just have to over-see, co-ordinate, and then clean. Happy day. :)

Oh, I cannot express how much, how much I am looking forward to being back in Washington. Not only will I be near family and old friends, but I can finally, finally be ME again. I can go to school, I can get a job, I can hike, I can camp, I can ride, I can swim, I can work (you have NO idea how much I miss manual labor - I can't wait to buck a bale again), I can stand outside and smell the fresh air, feel a fresh breeze, pit myself against nature - be one with it and be outdoors without people staring at me, without people slowing down in their cars as they drive past so they can watch me, without strangers constantly trying to talk to me, without feeling like a fish in a fish tank. I can walk through the store without having black people trying to run me over just because I'm white. I can walk down a street without having to worry I might accidentally end up in the "hood" and get threatened just for being white. I can be around people who think the same way I do. I can finally re-define who I really am...in my element, in my world, with choice. Ah, the freedom of that...that feeling will be indescribable.

I really feel like I am stuffed in a tiny box with hardly an air hole and the lid is just starting to crack. The joy of it! These past 3+ years have not let me be me. Looking back on them I can hardly remember any of it. If you take away everything that makes a person feel alive - every single opportunity, and joy - time just goes by. That's been my mantra, 'time goes by. Just wait 'til it brings something back into your life that makes it worth the effort.' Finally, finally, it looks like I will actually be able to do something with my time!

If you don't understand what I say, or think I'm being overly dramatic, that's fine. I'm not. :) If you think this misery of 3 years has all been my attitude, that's fine. It's not. :) If you think that I could have done more, that's fine. You're right. But I refused to settle for this poor excuse for a life down here - where the highest aspiration available is to decide which restaurant to go to this weekend or which movie to see. Those pithy expressions "It's all in your attitude", and "Life is what you make it" are great. If I had chosen to be content with eating, watching movies, and sweating in the air-conditioned, smelly humidity, I would have been very happy here.

Yes, I could have gotten a job. I did not for 3 reasons: 1) I was constantly traveling to and from Washington for weeks at a time. 2) The few times I wasn't planning a trip to Washington, there were very few jobs available (there is an incredible unemployment rate here). 3) I did not/do not want to work at a restaurant again...I really dislike that line of work and the employers who tend to be in it. For those who sit in judgment on why I did not get a job, those are my reasons. I don't care if you agree or not or like them. Condemn if you must - you haven't been here or experienced the deep South and it's culture as a 19-22 year old transplanted alone without an accessible support system.

I am, as of this moment, officially washing my hands of any and all judgements and condescension that may have occurred over the past few years. I am taking that weight off my shoulders because I do not have to carry the burden of a lack of information or understanding by others. I name no one who has done this, and I am not saying that you, reader, have done this. I am saying that this has happened and I refuse to carry the burden any longer. If a person has not lived my life, or a life very similar to it, I feel a person cannot justly make judgments on it. I chalk any such judgements up to ignorance and/or inexperience.

I feel I have done an adequate job with what was allowed me. I have made sure that I have experienced and seen all I wanted to experience and see in the South.

To be clear, my life over the past 3 years is by no means on par with some of the miseries that are out there and for that I am grateful. Boredom and stagnation have been my only enemies, and I hope everyone who reads this knows that I in no way think I am some poor victim! On the grand scale of things, my complaints are small. But I am ready to get on with my life. I'm ready to live it. I am so, SO excited that I am finally being allowed to.

This is finished - this saga and time of my life is coming to an end. Thank God.

Well, we're just about to take off to a friends apartment to hang out and play games and the like, and Tim is just finishing getting ready. Today has been one of those long, rather difficult days, but ah well, it's almost over and this evening looks like a lot of fun. :)
I am so excited for Shelly and Peter. I love weddings and I can't wait to see their twist on it. So far everyone in our family has had some very original ideas and it is always so much fun to see a couple's personalities go into it. I also can't wait to sit down with Michelle and hear all her plans for the wedding and first year of marriage - a lot of big, life changing stuff and so much fun. :D
Well, Tim just said he's ready to go so off we get.